All my other problems pale into insignificance

Stupid. Fucking. Photocopier. There is NO jam. It doesn't matter how many times it tells me to open it up and clear the paper jam, there is no paper jamming. And I can't make it stop. No matter what I do, it won't stop trying to photocopy and telling me about its phantom jam.

Ok. I've switched it off properly despite the dire warning not to switch the photocopier off.

I'm sitting at my desk considering the matter and I bet the damn thing broke down yesterday and no one bothered to leave a note.

15.34: I'm feeling better. The woman in the office next door gave me a blueberry muffin for letting her use my phone when she accidentally set their alarm off and the demon possessed copier has been quiet for a while.