Difficult week. My partner continued to be quite unwell. I had a weird rash on my skin and an emotional meltdown. I felt awful during the second half of the week and spent most of Wednesday and Friday evenings crying. When I get like this, I feel like I’ve got a desperately unhappy child inside me who is completely inconsolable. There’s nothing I can do to comfort her.
I think its emotional stress about some things catching up with me. I also failed to protect myself from the internet over the holidays, despite knowing full well that I would be feeling sensitive and there would be a lot of upsetting stuff out there. I had planned to take a complete social media break for a few weeks, and I did step back a bit, but the proper break never really happened. My desire for connection apparently trumped my boundaries.
But otherwise, I’ve been doing quite well. I exercised and went to yoga and have reduced my caffeine intake significantly. I upgraded my phone, something I’ve been avoiding for ages because it stresses me out. I also bought myself a pair of binoculars to improve the quality of my birdwatching.
Today is the 9th anniversary of our civil partnership. We’re not really the kind of people who bother with anniversaries, but we try and do a little something for this one. We went out for lunch at one of our favourite cafes anyway.
It’s definitely been a week for comfort TV. We watched some old episodes of Poirot, Murder in Mesopotamia, Sad Cypress and The Hollow, all of which were very good.
Then we watched our favourite adaptation of Jane Eyre, the 2006 one with Ruth Wilson and Toby Stephens. It’s the only adaptation that really gets me to buy into the romance between Jane and Rochester.
I finished Semiosis by Sue Burke, a science fiction novel about a human colony and first contact with alien species. I really liked it and will hopefully write a post about it at some point. I also finished my re-read of The Hobbit, which was fun, but I felt I should be reading it out loud to a child. Now those are done, I’ll carry on with Melmoth by Sarah Perry.
I’m also working on Burnout: The Secret to Solving the Stress Cycle by Emily and Amelia Nagoski which I’m finding very helpful. Recommended if you’re looking for a feminist and intersectional book about burnout.
I’m going to make a vat of dahl to keep us fed for next couple of days and I hope next week will be a little kinder.